The Power of Forgiveness
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,” Matthew 6:14
We serve a forgiving God. Many times we have failed and disobeyed Him, and He has forgiveness us every time. But what about those who have sinned against us, and who have wronged us? Why is it so complicated to produce the same forgiveness that God offers to us to show to others?
Our pride won’t let us. First thing that comes to mind is RETALIATION. Whether we return the hurt with our words, or physically, we can’t fathom the fact of letting the offender get away with it. Do you realize that walking around angry at the person who caused the hurt allows that person to govern you? Just reflect, if you think about circumstances surrounded by the hurt, and it angers and frustrates you, you allow the offender to have control over your emotions. To be honest, who wants to allow someone else to have control over their mind and emotions? Also, harboring those ill feelings can cause damage to other relationships. I always say bleeding on others who didn’t cut you. For example, women, we get out of one relationship and jump into another one without fully being restored from that past relationship, so we make the present man pay for the mistakes of the past man. Or not having our biological father to show us how to love effectively, so we look for it in the wrong men, and we develop these “daddy issues” Yea I was one of them!
Forgiveness is challenging, but it’s necessary. When we learn to forgive, we are accepting the past and moving on. We surrender all the negative emotions. We become overcomer’s of our pain. Like my therapist once advised me, “it’s ok to feel the emotion but don’t be the emotion”. When we harbor those ill feelings towards the offenders, we do damage to our emotional well-being. We become so wrapped up in the wrong that we can’t enjoy the present. Learning to forgive is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. We can’t sweep it under the rug and think it doesn’t exist. Acknowledge the hurt. I was one to act like I wasn’t hurt! Address the emotion. Talk about how it made you feel. You can talk to someone you trust or even seek counseling, but make sure you address it ! Don’t put a band-aid over a wound and not tend to the wound effectively. Another, be ok with not possibly getting the apology from the offender. Sometimes we have to face the fact that the apology may never come. Either you let it go or you hold on it. (holding on to it will allow the person to take control of your emotions and mental state) If the apology ever comes, learn to set healthy boundaries. Address your concerns with the offenders and let them know what is unacceptable from that point on. Remember, you are in control of you! Never place the control of yourself in the hands of other’s. Learn to forgive yourself as well. Often we beat ourselves up and place blame on ourselves. “I should’ve known better” “how could I let this happen to me” I have learned that in order to give grace and mercy to others, I must give it to myself first. In addition, when we operate in forgiveness, we open our hearts to receive love again. In closing, just think if God held every sin that we did against all of us we would be deemed for HELL.